India: Our Hearts…an Update

So I have been meaning to write this for awhile.  We kind of got cut off at the end of the trip and wasn’t able to post because the internet got a little fishy the last several days we were there. But we had some great opportunities to meet people that we didn’t even think we would get to meet. 

We have been back in Kansas City now for two months; although, India seems like decades ago.  Lil’ babes has cut two teeth, started eating food(on Friday; He loves his sweet taters), and talking like nobody’s business in that amount of time. We have also done too much processing.  If you know anything about me, I want to know immediately how I feel about everything. So for the first two weeks, I did not stop asking “what was that trip about?” It took longer than two weeks to hear these things from God and even put them into words. But hear is what we learned in a nut shell. 

• India is for us. Its hard, we felt taken advantage of, out of place and seriously at home in all the same moments. Here, we feel the roads don’t have enough cars on them, not enough people standing, sitting, walking everywhere. We miss it.

• that being said it feels like a time that we wait for God to place something in our laps. Both of us feel a complete peace and pursuing what He has put in front of us(like looking around a bit at Cerner) but don’t feel like we should go scrounging for something. To make space for the Mighty One’s hand if you will.

 

• it’s lonely out there…we need a better sense of how to make friends where we go. Will it be mostly through Babe’s job? I originally thought I would maybe have a job but it’s seeming harder and harder even in the states to leave little babes. Some of this is just trusting God but we feel like this is the biggest thing that God showed us while we were there and perhaps aren’t just supposed to know that it’s going to be hard.  Seriously, we don’t want to die emotionally and spiritually while we are over there.  We are either praying for someone to go with us or for God to even just to show us a place to live that is known for its community. Also, what it would look like to have spiritual community with people of like minds for contextualized ministry. Anyone interested in this??

 

• we also seriously miss our family and desire for our parents to watch the lil’ babes grow up… This is hard and probably will be. Makes me sad but we want to be obedient to where He leads us.

Will you pray patient discipline for us while we wait?

-jen

India: A Directing

This past weekend, we went to Chennai to see a family that is working and living intentionally there. We took a 5 hour train ride on Friday night.  It was a really great time just seeing what it would realistically look like for us, ie. what the apartment might look like, showers, toilets , cooking, etc.

We were able to finally catch up on some of the sleep that we hadn’t had for the past 8 days because Lil’ Babes was having trouble with jet lag.  They also have a three month old that was born four days after Row, so really that was great to have solidarity in being a mom of a three month old in a foreign country. Saturday morning, we all took a walk around this nature area which was a botanists dream.  Unfortunately, we forgot the camera The coolest thing we saw while there was a Banyan tree.  Basically they get really huge because every time the send out a branch they also drop roots from that branch.  Amazing. After going on the nature walk, we got some breakfast at this veg restaurant called Sangeetha. Seriously amazing.

We basically laid around all day and talked about everything under the sun. We asked lots of questions. What their struggles have been, what does it look like to actually contextualize the Truth, what have their relationships looked like, what does community look like for them; just to name a few. Jesus used this weekend hugely in directing in our hearts.  We aren’t sure what all of it means but its starting to feel okay to be open handed with our life. I just was so homesick, I think I had closed my heart.  However, I want to want to be like Mary that when she found out that she was going to bear the Living God; her response was “Let it be so”. And Jesus, when He was in the garden of Gethsamine, He said if this is the only way, then let it be so. O God, I wish to have a pure heart when saying that “Let it be so” whatever you have for us.

The train station in Bangalore.

-jen

India: Purpose

It seems things are a bit different here then what I imagined they would be.  My role has shifted a lot since the beginning of all of this.  At first I was heavily involved with all the Indians and now it seems especially after having lil’ babes that my role in all of this is shifting much more than I imagined it would.  I am not certain of what that all means but I do know that it feels freeing to not have guilt hanging over my head.  Because really the fact is, God has called me to be a mom and wife and those come before all of this.  These days that is a little bit more demanding. This quote from Jim Elliot has guided me in many transitions in my life. “Wherever you are, be all there.  Live to the hilt every situation you believe to be the will of God.”  But its funny how the things that can challenge you can also become a thing that throws guilt on you, which clearly is not from God. So Jesus, help me to know what it means to “be all here” right now, here in India, on this trip.

Needless to say, yesterday was a normal day as just a mom. It was mostly about trying to get Rowen to nap at normal times, so we could sleep at night(which worked!!). All we did was go out to exchange money and hang out by the pool a bit. Rowen rolled over for the first time!, which I thought was a fluke, but he did it about 4 times in his 10 minute tummy time this morning! What a pro This morning we also got to Skype in to our Missional Family’s white elephant party which was such a blessing.  We couldn’t imagine life without them.  Lil’ Babes and I also got to skype my Mom, which was just really fun to see Rowen really excited about seeing her.

This weekend we are going to Chennai, a 5 hour train ride from Bangalore, to see a family that are like-minded.  We are really really excited to get to hear their hearts and share ours/get wisdom. Please pray that this would bring clarity to our lives, and that we would mutually encourage each other.

We are so thankful for all of you who are praying for us and following our trip.

-jen

India: Adjusting

It’s an early Wednesday morning here in Bangalore.  We got up at a grand ole time of about 2:30 am once again. Can you say jet lag? Yikes.  Here is a recap of all that has happened this week.

Monday:

We slept in till about noon cause we didn’t get to the hotel till 6am… and then went outside of the hotel to get some lunch and head to get some groceries.  We are staying in a part of town called UB City, which is apparently India’s first luxury mall.  It has stores like Rolex, Louis Vuitton, and Burberry.  I remember coming to UB City when I was in Bangalore almost 5 years ago.  This was seriously the fanciest place we visited in India and now here I am staying in the hotel there. I feel a little weird about that.

Tuesday:

Yesterday was Babe’s first day of work, and it went great! He met several guys and went to lunch with them. He found out that he will be doing 4 or 5 trainings over an area that he sort of specializes in at Cerner.  It seems that almost all of Cernerworks India is signed up for one of these classes (almost 50 people). My husband is a rockstar .

Wednesday(today):

After much crying, praying and asking people to pray, I had enough guts to actually get out by myself (and Rowen).  For some reason I thought this would be easy when I was planning everything; however, I didn’t realize until we got here that the last time I was in India, I had people with me 24/7. I now realize that I am completely naïve and scared because of it! But this morning, I had Babe’s driver drop lil’ Babes and I off at the money exchange place when he took Babes to work.  Apparently everything in India, or at least the shops and whatnot don’t open until later, like 10. So they dropped me off only for me to find my way back to the hotel without getting run over .  Later in the morning, Row and I went to a chain coffee shop, Café Coffee Day, here pretty close to the hotel.  He slept a little while I studied some Hindi and drank some coffee. I wasn’t crazy about the environment.  I wanted to do this every day so that I could meet some people but I don’t think that is the place.  In Luke 10, Jesus talks about finding peace in a person/place, and it just wasn’t there. So I will “dust off my feet” and move to a different place next time.

Jesus in our days:

It seems Jesus requires obedience from us; however, you have to actually listen to what he is saying now. I had set all these goals for this time(not that goal setting is a bad idea because I know those were prayerfully considered). However, my piece of obedience for yesterday was to sit with him and to sleep. Today, my obedience piece took a little more courage but I am thankful that he provides that.

“My grace is sufficient for you for my power is made perfect in weakness”. 2 Corinthians 12:9

Thank you Jesus

-jen

Storyline: Module 1 & 2

I have had this done for about a week now but I really don’t know what to write on my blog about it.  I really do love to tell my story and how I see God using all of the past “crap” that has happened for good.  In Module 1, we are supposed to write down all of the “turning points” in our lives.  Some are negative and some are positive and in the end you are supposed see more clearly how God has brought you to where you are today.  However, I am just not sure that my blog is the place for all of this stuff.  There are awful things in my life that have happened but God has redeemed it.  I don’t want to place condemnation on the people that were involved in those things because that’s not the reason I tell my story.

So…. if you are affected by divorce, depression, miscarriage, missions and would like to hear my story, then please email me, and we can get coffee.  I would love to tell you how God has brought me through the good and bad times and how He has led Babes and I to where we are now. And I would love to help anyone struggling with any of that as well. (Although, the best thing I can probably do is pray for you…)

This is also me bowing out of doing this on my blog.  I will still be participating but just with my group of girls. To continue to follow Emily go to Countryrootsandcowgirlboots.com

-jen

Book Club: Storyline Introduction

My dear friend, Emily of countryrootsandcowgirlboots.com, is doing a book club via her blog, so I decided to go through the Storyline Curriculum with the group of girls that I hang out with every other Monday. This is a wee bit behind her first post because I just wasn’t sure how to write all this but here it is. I will be following it up here soon to get back on track.

First off, I have read a couple of Donald Miller’s books, including Blue Like Jazz and A Million Miles in a Thousand Years, and I don’t quite agree with his theology.

Here are my beliefs, not that all of them disagree with his(as I have not actually talked to the guy), but I just want to be clear. I believe that God created us and died for not just to enjoy us but so that we will glorify Him for the purpose of Him being seen as He really is, the Most High. (disagreement 1 from pg. 14) We have to account for Him being God and not just having the nature of a person, where He just wants companionship.  I also believe that He created the law not so we could interact with Him(disagreement 2 from pg. 16 on the timeline) but so that we can see that we can never accomplish the law and therefore, we need Him(there may be better verses for this . I do believe that He does dub us as important in the process of bringing the World to Himself (Matt 28:18-20); however, I know He is powerful enough to do it by Himself and that He doesn’t need us.

I will try not point out these things all the time, as I don’t want to be detrimental to the process, because I believe where I have come from really does make a difference on how I react to situations and how God has shaped me for situations in my life to come, which I think is mostly what we are doing in this study.

So if that could be my Introduction to this study and now I will go on with the study.

I think I will follow in Em’s footsteps and write down some of my goals for the next 10 or so years:

1. Scope out India and move there within the next few years
2. Learn to speak and write Hindi
3. Be making Disciplers
4. Have a few kids
5. Take guitar lessons
6. Be better at speaking Jesus’s name and His stories (this is not tangible because I don’t know what it looks like as I am wrestling with it now; maybe it’s even just knowing the Word better)

Expectancy

A few days ago, I posted about the new year and I had prayed about what it meant but over the past few days God has really emphasized some things.

Back in December, Babes and I decided to make our own advent.  One of those weeks we focused on the exaltation of Jesus and that has gotten my goat ever since.  Seriously I have just been amazed at the God that He is, and how powerful and above all.  And as I prayed about the New Year, He kept reminding me of this character.

I filled out my new calendar with all the birthdays and important dates for the year and when I went to hang it up, I looked at the picture.  And this verse was posted on it, which just emphasized everything that I was pondering.

“Be exalted, O God, above the heavens; let your glory be over all the earth.” Psalm 57:11 (can I just say, YEAH JESUS PLEASE!!)

Then, I wrote the “new years post” and brought in the new year with communion and prayer with our missional family. The thoughts of expectancy came over me but I didn’t really understand the depths (and I know I still don’t completely).

But here are my thoughts. We know the truth about God that He is all powerful, that He made the Heavens and the Earth and the Sea and the peacock and a single blade of grass and that He is saving my filthy heart….

……so why don’t we expect more when we pray?

“Now to him who is able to immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us…” (Eph 3:20)

-jenny

Advent

This year, Babes and I were sitting around thinking about how to make this Christmas season more about Jesus.  Not for the sake of our kids (especially since we don’t have any) but for the sake of our souls.

We decided to make our own advent tailored to our lives and what we find is important during this season.  The first week, we started with readings from the prophets.  The second, scripture about who He was and why He came.  The third, is scripture that exalts Him. The forth, the Christmas story.

As we have been doing this, I am learning that dwelling on simply Jesus is amazing.  How often do we get caught up in theology or what we should be doing or not doing or even who we are discipling.  All these are important questions, don’t get me wrong but Jesus is the one that should be dwelt on.

What traditions do you have to bring your mind toward Jesus at Christmas??

“He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn of all creation.  For by him all things were created, in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities – all things were created through him and for him.  And he is before all things, and in him all things hold together.  And he is the head of the body, the church.  He is the beginning, the firstborn from the dead, that in everything he might be preeminent.  For in him all the fullness of God was pleased to dwell, and through him to reconcile to himself all things, whether on earth or in heaven, making peace by the blood of his cross.”

Colossians 1:15-20

 

-jenny

Truths about God

It was a good week giving thanks, being with family, and sitting but then it was filled with so many people and zero alone time that I just started to get in this rut with no Jesus.

Ya ever been there? Where you don’t know where to start.  You know you should spend time with Jesus but you forget how or even what it was like to desire Him?  Where you do everything but sit down?  Yep, was there this morning but I did it.  I put my computer away and just started writing in my journal.  I didn’t know what to read or even what to say.   What do you say when really the things of God haven’t been on your mind?

I started writing down truths.  Things that I knew about God that I needed to remind myself of.  Why do I love this guy so much? Well here they are, with scripture to back it. If you have more please add them :).

• Salvation is by God alone (not by what we do or don’t do…including the bad stuff)
  • Ephesians 2:8
• Nothing can separate us from the love of God
  • Romans 8:35
• He works for the good of those who love Him (even if it doesn’t look like it at the time)
  • Romans 8:28
• He is transforming us and He won’t give up
  • Romans 8:29-30;
  • Philippians 1:6
• He can sympathize with us
  • Hebrews 4:15
• His burden is light(aka He doesn’t demand much from us because He wants us to give it up to Him)
  • Matthew 11:28-30
• He keeps His promises
  • Hebrews 6:13-15;
  • Jesus coming to Earth;
  • all of history- look at your own life
• He makes “lowly” people into His great “hands & feet”
  • Matthew 4:18-22;
  • Mark 1:16-20;
  • Luke 5:2-11;
  • John 1:35-42;
  • Acts 9
• He cares about the sick, the widowed and the orphans
  • Matthew 8:14-16 (and healings all over the gospels); James 1:27
• He provides for us
  • Matthew 6:28-33
  • Exodus 16

 

-jenny